frenettik 46 (amigurumi)

i haven't really worked in weeks (okay i have put in about 8hrs but that's without human contact so it seems alien). i have high anxiety of even stepping back into that f*ck*d up artificial world. not sure if i will make it but i don't really have a second plan right now.
i was feeling threatened knowing i was the only wage earner and feeling like the need to earn cash had control over my life but really it does not need to be. okay i must be in a daze cuz financially things do suck - we found out enrollment is closed for state health care so i applied to a couple more programs and have a failry humiliating appt. set for next week- suffering is healthy right?
we started 40 days to a personal revolution (yoga and meditation) which i planned last new year but now i have greg waking me at 630am-goodluck! the first day was me hung over after new years and screaming please no, don't do this to me!!!! but by 10am i was ready. i also said if our revolution takes 60 days, i am ok with that...
greg repeated something he read and couldn't really remember but it still resonated with me. something like- you can either have a job and a house or a home and a family. i really have been enjoying the latter.
here is sage playing with the amigurumi (retarded aka developmentally disabled) octopus toy right after i attached it's last leg. she actually liked it so i am encouraged to finish it and do something with all the other little shapes i made. i don't believe you are suppose to see the stuffing in the legs (aka beginner) so next step, felting the wool. maru promises me it will solve all my worries. then i may even geek out and give it a face so call this step one -crochet.




on a sh*tty note my mom's house was burglarized and they took all her electronics and jewelry which included everything of my fathers and all my mom inherited from both grandma's. it makes me feel vulnerable and i have 2 coonhounds let alone how she must feel, so it is officially shitty. love you mom.